Rave Reviews

My co-teacher's ESL boo-boo. Should say "Peer Review", but I like where her head's at ;) 

Since Arabic only has the "B" sound, "P" is unfamiliar to them. This can make for some hilarious mistakes if a native Arabic speaker hasn't quite mastered the nuances of English. During class the students have trouble with "P" and "B". They say things like "I like bobcorn" and the words "pet", "bet", "pencil", and "bencil".

You know you’ve been in the Middle East too long when…

You know you’ve been in the Middle East too long when…

You’re not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat

You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read “insha’allah”

You need a sweater when it is 27degC out

Your ideal vacation is anywhere you can eat pork

Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid

You believe the speed limits are only advisory

You think all police drive BMWs and Mercedes Benzes

You use your hazard lights during rain or fog but use your fog-lights as a way of pimping your car, any time, any day

You fully expect to go to jail when a UAE national hits the back of your car at a stop sign

You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first

You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green

You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the span of a few weeks

You think it’s normal that the repair man shows up to repair something armed with a plastic bag containing only a hammer and coat hanger.

You give directions to somebody using only landmarks and not road names and at least one is a mosque of some description

You think it is absolutely normal to to see someone reversing in a roundabout.

You think it’s perfectly normal to see two men walking along holding hands but are shocked to see a woman and a man doing the same.

You always look both ways down a one way street.

You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn

You think you’ve cut it fine at a red light, only to look in your rear view mirror and see three other cars going through.

You think its perfectly all right for guys to wear white dresses.

You drive out of the airport on your holiday at home and get annoyed because everyone is driving the same speed and staying in their lanes, like the signs say

You don’t blink an eye when you get passed by a car in the slow lane going so fast your car is buffeted by the slipstream.

You see an ambulance zooming down Sheikh Zayed Road with several cars tailing it across all the lanes to avoid the traffic.

You think a woman wearing a black abaya and full hijab has good-looking eyes.

You’re not surprised when the doctor gives you a 9pm appointment

You are surprised to go back home and find petrol costs more than drinkable water

You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought

You find fully abaya-covered women driving at 120 kph, talking in their cell phones and trying to keep their toddler on the lap, is a perfectly normal sight.

You think Pepsi begins with a “B”

You think it is perfectly normal that your neighbour has two Ferraris and a Hummer and never works

You think that a box of Kleenex belongs on every dinner table

You understand that when someone says “bukra, insha’allah” to you it really means “sometime during this calendar year…if you are lucky”

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. --George Santayana 1

Latest update from the War Zone:
* I will be getting an Emirati student teacher in 2 weeks =) Thank you Jesus. I will take any help I can get. I know I am suppose to be teaching her, which I will try, but I seriously can't wait to find out what my students are talking about ALL the time...Their secrets will soon be uncovered!!!

*This week our school received booklets in Arabic and English, publishing the results of school surveys conducted in 2010. One of the most interesting statistics to me was regarding the education of principals in the UAE. 3% with Masters Degree, 80% with Bachelors Degree, and 17% with something less than a Bachelors. Anyone else see this statistic and find it as interesting as I did?

*How should desk be arranged in the classroom? This was a question that our principal and HOF found imperative to discuss during our Professional Development meeting. They made handouts, a powerpoint, and even researched the topic. They found an interesting research statistic from non-other than the TALIBAN. Yes, the Taliban have researched the best way to seat an audience so they will focus on the leader. Obviously, our principal knows we are working in a war zone as well...It's one of those things at school where you just shake your head and think, "Only in the UAE."

* My tedious efforts of fighting horrible classroom behavior has finally paid off, I was rewarded by the social worker today.
Received: one lollipop
Reason: I brought 2 kids to the office for putting each other in a choke hold(one kid turning blue) and punching the daylights out of each other. She thought I handled the situation well ( me bringing them to her and not putting them in timeout). HA!
Outcome: I ate my lolli for lunch and will probably take some more students tomorrow so I can get another =)
FYI: The reason I don't send the boys that are fighting to the social worker daily is because they will come back with a lollipop in hopes 'they will be better boys tomorrow, inshallah'.  Yes, let's reinforce that negative behavior.

*24 teaching days until I will be in India and Nepal.

*I'm A>D>D>I>C>T>E>D to Pinterest!

February..praying for a better ending!

February is not, repeat, is not starting off well.  I missed 2 days of work last week due to being extremely weak and tired. After an x-ray and blood test the doctor diagnosed me with bronchitis and anemia. Some R&R did not do the trick, now it has went to a sinus infection. I hate not being able to breath out of my nose. Trying to spread the wealth and get some of my little ones sick..but so far I have been unsuccessful.

On another sad note, my co-worker/ old friend's child from Barrow passed away yesterday. Sweet Miley was only 3 years old. It definitely has a powerful effect on people and makes one realize what special people they have in their life. Beautiful Miley always had a big bright smile and the best hugs after work. She is going to be a great little angel.
http://www.ktuu.com/two-barrow-children-medevaced-to-anchorage-after-assault-020312,0,7221673.story

I found out Miley passed away yesterday morning before work. As I cried all the way to work I thought I could hold it together in class. My morning class went well. Needless to say, my afternoon class was unbearable. They wouldn't stop fighting, run, yelling, stabbing each other, falling off their chairs, ect. I was interrupted 4 different times by Arabic teachers coming in and interrupting me mid-sentence to pass out paper, have students get things out of their bags, or  have students talk on the phone to their mothers. I thought I was about ready to break down. When at 11:25 the special education teacher brought the students to me. Not being in the best mood, I decided to have my way with her and demand to know why she is bringing the kids to me 15 minutes early, this is happening more and more often. (side note: she works three 45minute periods a DAY-I work six 45 minute periods a day-she has 4 students-I have 25 students) Ok. I TELL her it is period 5 and she is NOT to bring them until the bell of period 6. She looks at me all confused and ask why. Well, I do not teach them math you do and it is now math time. She then looks at my special little friend Abdulla and says I take him, you keep the other 2..quiet and sit nice. SERIOUSLY! You are supposed to teach them math, you ARE taking all 3 of them with you. She again ask why. I repeat (just in a slower manner)! I then ask WHY she needs to bring them early. She has the nerve to say "I am busy." Oh really, doing what? What are you busy doing? (Considering you only teach 2.25 hours a day out of 8hrs) "I am busy decorating classroom."  Remind you...I have 25 students who are chaotically demolishing my room and running around like little monkeys at the time. "I am VERY busy too, I AM TEACHING! You will take them until the bell." Then the door shuts very loudly behind her and the 2 quiet boys and 1 screaming boy. She brought them back 10 minutes later with huge candy bars. Definitely revenge mode. 

Time for some words/picture sorts..we are still working on direction.

Such good littler readers!!!!

Our plant life assessment! They all passed of course!

Having too much fun...Sorting objects biggest to smallest

Learning about the different parts of a plant.

Meet our cute little LEAF men.

Such a little character...Learning where seeds come from.

So my day continued. Abdulla was at his finest. Standing ontop of 6 ft bookcases throwing blocks and yelling, Miss. Hello!. Like I didn't see him up there. As I would go to get him down the blocks would fly faster and faster and he would have a big grin on his face. Got him settled at a desk. Just in time to turn around to find him chasing a boy around the room holding a scissor in each hand. Take the scissors away try to make him stop shouting and get the other kids back in order. Next thing I know, he is pushing the computers over. Ugh. I take him to the bus maids and go back to class. Kids are still out of control and I just had to break down and cry. That got their attention and they were calm for about 5 minutes. Collected myself. Abdulla comes back and decides to throw all the nicely stacked papers on my desk all over the floor, then runs around the room trying to poke other kids in the eyes and pull their hair. As I'm chasing him, 6 students are standing on their desks, 2 students are wrestling on the carpet, and 4 other students are chasing each other around the tables. OYI, I just wanted the day to end. Grabbed Abdualla and held that screaming baby for the last 20 minutes of class as the other students ran around the room. Great teacher, huh? At the end of the day the principal tells me, "Tomorrow, Khalidya Mall, field trip."

And this is where the crazy driving begins =)

Can his smile get much bigger?

The one in the blue makes my heart melt daily. Such a sweetheart!

Wow! We made a line. Time to celebrate with some Hardee's!

My fierce little tigers

"Bukra(Tomorrow)? Sparkey's? " hmm doutful...Wishful thinking though!

Two of my tiniest. They slip  right out after the ride. No need for the safety bars to lift =S

Today, my co-Arabic teacher and I took 29 students on a 30 minute bus ride to Abu Dhabi to go to Spark'y, a game and amusement park inside the mall. Educational? I'm still trying to figure that one out. But we had so much fun. Face painting, rollercoasters, bumper cars, ice cream and lots of games. It's suprising how much I enjoyed the kids when the day before I could barely look at their faces.  At 11 grabbed a bite to eat at Hardee's and back to school by 1. The best part of the trip was my co-teacher. She was very unsure of me being the only other chaparone. She kept asking our principal for another Arabic teacher to join us. haha She speaks a few words in English. I speak about 4 words in Arabic. Makes for a lot of signing and humorous facial expressions. The best was the head count when we returned to school. As she counted 29, sighed, wiped her forehead, and grinned. I knew exactly what she was saying. "Thank god we did not lose any!"

Some Positives:
*My students are speaking way more English. After learning our new vocab word ice cream. My student makes a couple complete sentences and says, "Miss, I like ice cream. I mix chocolate, vaneelaa, and strawberry. I eat all!"
* 2 of my students read 66 CVC words by themselves last week! Now the other students are trying their best to sound out all the new words!
*The weather is still in the 70s and it is February.
*I've been more social lately. I even cooked dinner and had people over one night! This is big. I don't cook =)
*I recently got cable and have become addicted to Nat Geo Adventure.
*All my students are trying to have conversations with me. We are not having to mime as much =)
*I started taking pottery classes...I love learning new things..I hate when my brain idles for too long. I have already made a bowl and cup! Next week a coiled plate!
* I got traditional henna on my hands (it's like a temporary tattoo).

My favorite company..Iza, Deb, Sean, and Kimberly

Kimberly and me in some deep concentration during our pottery class.

The start of my bowl.

Got some black(illegal) henna at Global Village in Dubai.

Well hoping for better days to come. Officially, 33 more days of school until my next break!

“At some point, you gotta let go, and sit still, and allow contentment to come to you.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Oopsies and Oh My Gods

Vacation is definitely over. 44 days until my next vacation and I may have a full head of gray hair by then. Everyday the kids give me a run for my money...I sat here tonight reading my friend Andrea's blog about her week back (at a different school). I couldn't help but break out in laughter. I need to find that humor during the day when it is happening to me...She writes, "I could go on and on about my week back...the fire alarm is broken at the school so it goes off random times all day long. A kid next door pooped and tracked it across the floor in that classroom. A student today walked back into the class after going to the bathroom with nothing but his shirt on. I mean...truly there is never a dull moment!!!"

So.....lets see what I can share about this week at work. Here's a good one. So I have hall duty during recess once a week for 15 minutes. This consists of me going hallway area...sitting down for 15 minutes and watching what's going on. If a kid runs, I watch...a kid falls, I watch...a kid has candy, I watch...a kid hits another, I watch...a kid runs up the slide, I watch...a kid goes outside the building, I watch. I didn't understand this at first...I walked around, took candy from kids, guarded the doors, made kids sit on the wall or apologize for being mean..I quickly realized I was the only one doing this. Everyone else was simply sitting and watching. I wasn't going to be left out of this luxury...so there I am...if you can't beat them join them! Okay so Monday I go and sit down...I see some boys with candy & consider telling them to put it away but thought "eh, oh well nobody else cares so I don't then I watched the one boy finish his M&Ms and just throw the wrapper down. Again....first instinct (AND I THINK CORRECT INSTINCT) was to go over there have him clean it up and tell him I better not see it again. I considered it but decided to just sit there at the sand box. I was quickly shown that I made the right decision because all of the sudden out walks a bus lady from the doors right in front of me. She unwraps a candy, pops the candy in her mouth and drops the wrapper on the ground....those kids learn from the best of them!! HaHaHa...amazing! I mean after all the little ladies come out and clean after EVERY recess. It's crazy they sweep the sand off the sidewalks, even out the sand in the sand box, pick up the toys that are left out so I guess why not throw your trash on the ground!?

And another one...I have one boy in my class that is way above average compared to the rest. He is my little translator and role model. He speak English pretty well, knows his site words and loves to impress me by sounding out and reading new words. He was finished early and doing a vocabulary word sort. I put 3 or 4 letters in a bag, along with vocabulary pictures and words that correlate with each letter. He had finished the sort , called me over and about 11 others kids followed. He started naming all the "Ff" words, "Fork, five, falcon, fuck." hmmm Don't remember that last one but I know I think it alot at work. Couldn't help but smile at his serious little face..." That word is F-A-C-E." I guess we need to practice that A_E does not say "u".

Then my dilemma with my autistic problem child continues. He is back to destroying my room and disrupting my already corrupt lessons. My principal told me after school today as I'm holding him by the collar and he is kicking, trying to be dead weight and screaming "aw.aw. aw." in a high pitched tone like a bird that has been shot,  "Inshallah, we will get you help." No problem. Its already February, take your time. So today he comes in for 2 periods (he only lasted 50 minutes), continuously kicks my computer screen, breaks my computer desk, climbs up the shelving unit and throws EVERYTHING onto the floor, destroys students' work, rips down our underwater themed reading area, breaks numerous pencils (which are such valuable items), punches 2 kids in the face, stands on top of my desk and just screams "Oh MY GOD!" over and over, and tips over the water bucket we need to water the plants. I was on my last end...Patience had run out. I tried to make him draw some of our vocabulary pictures. I got him to sit, but I would give him the pencil, he would throw it over his shoulder and say "oopsy." I would give him another pencil, he would throw it over his shoulder and say "oopsy." It was kind of hilarious, while at the same time very frustrating because the other 24 students see him doing it and want to follow along. Finally, I decided I couldn't take it anymore and CARRIED him out of my room screaming and wallowing around. I took him to the bus ladies and asked them to take him to the office (as they are just sitting in a room doing nothing all day anyway). They say, "Why? Why he not in your room? Take him back." I just shake my head and leave him. About 10 minutes later I have the kids settled down on the carpet and we are practicing our site words when I hear a familiar shriek and thunderous footsteps coming fast. My door flies open and my little angel runs behind the door and is quiet and still as a mouse....2 minutes later I have 2 bus ladies come to my door frantically looking for "boy! crazy!!!!" All my kids are screaming his name and pointing to behind the door. hahah There were 2 of them and they had him for 10 minutes and he escaped... Maybe next time they won't question me.

I'll write more later when I can see the humor in some of it and actually laugh while I'm writing...right now I just think about it and it all irritates me because some days I feel like I am surrounded by %^&*, the things they do would just amaze you!!! 

But on a brighter note, I had a fantastic birthday. My students were fabulous, I recieved many stellar emails, and went out to an Italian restaurant with my besties. 27 isn't too bad!

Top 10 of 2011(in no particular order)

It is difficult not to believe that the next year will be better than the old one! And this illusion is not wrong. Future is always good, no matter what happens. It will always give us what we need and what we want in secret. It will always bless us with right gifts. Thus in a deeper sense our belief in the New Year cannot deceive us.- Kersti Bergroth

  It's hard to believe that 2012 can be any better than 2011. I was reminiscing about all the great experiences I had this past year and am so eternally grateful for everything...What a year it was!

 

 Top 10 of 2011 (in no particular order)

 1.     Traveled to Jordan and Sri Lanka.

2. Invested in a cell phone AND cable...yahoo!!!

3.     Found a (paying)job abroad and moved to the UAE

4.     Met my perfect boy.

5.     Furnished an entire house myself

6.     Spent the summer at a lake cabin

7.     Went to my 1st professional sporting event

8.     Master’s degree=Accomplished

  9. Rode camels in the desert (twice!)

 10. New Years Kiss-great beginning to 2012

 I think I can truthfully say it's been a successful year. 

Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you don't think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You'll look ten years younger. Don't be afraid to say, 'I love you'. Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world.

A Day In The Life...

“There's no trouble in this world so serious that it can't be cured with a hot bath, a glass of whiskey, and the Book of Common Prayer.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Yesterday marked 5 months that I've lived in Abu Dhabi. Thinking about how I should commemorate this occasion, I began reading through old blog entries and as I read about my travels and adventures I began to realize that I have left out a big part of the story here. I recently described life in the UAE to a friend back home using the old saying “long periods of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror.” Okay, maybe “sheer terror” isn’t accurate for me; “exhilaration” would be a better fit, but otherwise you can get the picture – even life in the Middle East can’t be interesting every moment. So, while I wait for another opportunity to travel or be exposed to some new cultural phenomenon, I go about the business of living in Abu Dhabi, a town I imagine having the same amount of charm as a Miami suburb. Now that the initial culture shock is over, now that I know that I can’t get lost, now that I’ve seen the local sights and I know there are almost no restaurants worth mentioning, now what?

Well, I live.

And this is the part I’ve failed to document. A day in the life of Andrea in the middle east—

Today I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock and fumbled in the darkness to turn it off at 4:25am. I then began my morning routine which is nearly always exactly the same – dragged myself to the kitchen to make coffee, looked out my balcony window for signs of the sunrise while waiting impatiently for the coffee to finish brewing, sat with my coffee, worked-out, skyped Tony, got dressed and ready for work, fought traffic for 20 minutes (with my 4 co-workers) while listening to an Emirati radio station, sat through meetings, copied papers, learned a few new Arabic words from my students, chased 50 kids around, persuaded kids using candy, watched the clock slowly make its way to 1 pm, fought traffic (and a headache) on the way home, looked for a parking spot, changed clothes, spent 40 minutes on the elliptical, washed my hair, checked Facebook, ate and chatted with Deb about work and boys, smoked shisha, bought some new housing items, got a mani-pedi, went to one of the my favorite 4 malls, sent my clothes to Bubbles (the laundry-man), sat at the beach, read for a bit (Catching Fire-I know, finally!), turned out the lights by 9 and was asleep in seconds.

That’s it. No glitz. No life lessons. Just life. And tomorrow will be about the same.  

Cioppino (Italian Seafood Stew) from Il Forno

My favorite dinner place

Aww. the traffic...cars coming at you in every direction