This is an important lesson to remember when you're having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won't feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can't feel real joy unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to have felt really messed up. And you can't be birthed again until you've died. * To have died in the emotional sense.― Kelly Cutrone
I ventured onto a random website with quotes about life. I am often inspired and feel, well, lifted and grateful for what I have experienced in life, after reading them. So I decided to use the quotes to help me explain what I have been feeling.
First, the quote above sums up my September. It was a difficult month. People always talk about how you will go through culture shock and want to go home. Well, every time I have traveled I have NEVER experienced this feeling. Then, September arrived! Why is the school complete chaos? Why don't the students act like they do everywhere else in the world? Why is it so difficult to get a book to read in class? Why are we not being told anything that is happening in our school? These are some of the moments when I knew I was for the first time experiencing culture shock. I still loved the city and felt very welcomed and at home here; however, school was a nightmare. I can't even put into words how the situation made me feel. I felt heartache, felt like a failure and was emotionally drained from my students and the (new) staff. But as the quote says-->this will change.
I woke up one day and decided to stop yelling at the students(which I did a lot of, since that is the ONLY way I could make them listen for 1 minute) and try to be patient and understand the way of the school and students. I now pray to God asking for patience and understanding everyday on the way to school. Since the day I started this, **MagIcaLLy**, I feel completely different when entering my classroom; nevertheless, I still have to yell from time to time=). My students are rather humorous and I have enjoyed finding the positive little (very little) things that they are starting to understand. They are learning more English words (they love singing "10 Little Monkeys", saying TIGER, MOUSE and SNAKE-they know I hate all 3, and rapping the color song), following directions better like SIT DOWN-NO HIT-GOOD JOB-POINT-STAND UP, the fighting is SLowLY deteriorating, my runners are finally sitting, my cry babies are smiling, (most) can write their names in English (forwards and backwards!), they place their backpacks in a nice row on the floor and not a pile in front of the door, they can identify their name on their desk, they are blowing into their fist when they want to answer a question not screaming the answer so the teacher 5 doors down can hear, they are not writing on each others kandoras, they are patiently waiting for me to grade their papers and not tackling each other to push their work in my face and yell "MISS", they learned how to say my name after 5 weeks, they now know that if I say "How are you?" they don't repeat "How are you?" instead they say "I'm fine-I'm sleepy-I'm sad-I'm happy!" which is huge in my book! So everyday I try to find these small things that make me say HEY THAT'S PROGRESS!
I am changing. I'm adapting to the situation. Which brings me to my next quote. "The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself."~ C. JoyBell C
**********Moments that bring a smile to my face**********
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| One must be very specific at explaining what scissors are and are not used for! |
TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-screaming student trying to get my attention WHATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!-me aka screaming teacher
They didn’t expect me to sound like them.They all got big eyes and were completely silent and then we laughed hysterically for a few seconds until the boy whispers “Pencil?” and I whisper “Go.” and the laughing continues!
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| Why my students are sitting in the pictures below-Anesa-my co-Arabic teacher...She really is lovely and has come to the rescue many times=) |
We were filling in an “I’m Special-All About Me” packet. One page read “My name is…”, so I had the boys go around and repeat the phrase and include their name. One of my higher level boys says, “My name is garbage”, as he points to the garbage can. I say “Ohh, do you smell? What do you smell with?” He says, “YES! NOSE!” Then runs up to me, points to me and tries to imitate the way I talk and says in a girlie voice, “My name is Ice Cream.” So I of course I asked why I got the name ice cream. He says “My name is Ice Cream(points to me) WHITE!” bahah I was ecstatic. We have been learning colors for the last couple of weeks and he is associating colors to objects and verbalizing it = One happy teacher named Ice Cream!
Speaking of names-I have gained another interesting name.
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| Well, I'm not MRS and I usually don't use the words "end" or "you' when writing my name-but hey-at least I got the letter! |
My little Abdulla (well 1 of the 7 Abdulla's) was running to the bus. He dodges a few backpacks and big 5th graders to run back to me, grabs my hand, kisses it twice, smiles, says "Good-bye my friend" and runs back to the bus=One happy teacher named Mrs. Ice Cream Enderyou! So cute to hear them speaking English!
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| My little runaways...look at them sitting...brings a tear to my eye! |
Going through the alphabet at calendar, we say the letter-sound-and vocabulary words (if we've covered the letter). We get to the letter M. Ahmed jumps up..."Miss! Letter M. mmmmm(saying the sound and rubbing his stomach) chocolate! Me, please?" Well he did get the letter and sound correct! Award? I think so!
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| This was supposed to be a group of 3.... |
Miss Huda, our Arabic principal, enters my classroom; the class greets her with a little chant as they stand. One student Abdulla (a different one from above) emerges from the sea of students with a big grin on his face. Stands at attention in front of her, then goes to shake her hand, pulls her down to kiss her right cheek, goes for the left cheek but she is laughing too hard to except. He is a charmer!
One morning I was taking my class back to the room after assembly. My Arabic co-teacher stops and says, "No. Eat. Come." I get that strange confused look, which I wear almost all day every day, turn my class around and then I see we have decided to hold a random school picnic. Now, this isn't anything to complain about. I just have to laugh that obviously all the parents were informed(All the students had little breakfast treats in their backpacks), and all the Arabic teachers knew( they also had breakfast); however, they forgot to mention it to the other 8 teachers that speak English! But hey, why would they care if it affects 1.5 hours of our day!
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| My little group of fighters |
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| ONE of my classes relaxing at the school picnic and my little class "healer" on the right =) |
We had a fog day, which equals 1/2 a class and a 2 hour late start...only to be dismissed an hour early so the staff can have a party. An Arabic woman literally runs in my room says "BOYS-BUS! School finished!" Ok than! One of our western teachers converted to Muslim. She was given quiet the party and a day off of work. The party contained, a queen tiara, a dozen roses, a gold necklace, confetti shooters, smart board raffle games, chocolate bars, speeches in Arabic, a lot of hooting, hollering, and clapping, a feast and an early release from school. I could get used to this. We were doing the math 8 teacher =8 parties...Watch out, my next blog could be about MY party!
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| School picnic in the courtyard |
Give others the freedom to be themselves. Appreciate the differences between their ways and yours. We may not always see eye to eye but we can do our best to respect that we are all unique in our own way.
Today I awoke grateful that I have been blessed with another day. Despite the hurdles of life(and school), I am grateful to be alive to experience this because I know that everything happens for a reason. Grateful for the wisdom that I have the power to control my thoughts and no one can take this from me. Be grateful for another day to make your life as you wish it to be ♥
Have the most happy, blessed day ;)
